Pooling Together
Most people of my generation grew up with carpools. Carpools were a normal part of our daily lives. We shared rides to school, practice, the library (yes, we used to actually go to the library), and friends’ houses. Not only did this practice make sense for our parents, we usually enjoyed being in the company of our friends. This practice continued after we got our own cars. One of the great pleasures of getting your license and access to a car was to drive your friends around. You could quickly climb the social ladder in high school if you had wheels.
Some time in the intervening years, the carpool fell out of favor. By the time I became a parent, carpooling wasn’t a common practice anymore, and we grew accustomed to driving our kids everywhere. Seeing a carpool now is like catching a glimpse of an endangered species. At our neighborhood school, kids are, almost without exception, dropped off and picked by their parents. The mass convergence twice a day creates some logistical problems for a school built in 1921 for a population that walked to school. Even a slight increase in carpooling would ease the congestion. This same dynamic seems to have occurred with regard to our work commutes. The last time I encountered a regular carpool that involved a coworker of mine was 16 years ago.
The demise of the carpool could easily be chalked up to increasing selfishness and fraying relationships with neighbors. I will get to those issues below, but I do think there are practical reasons why this occurred. First, the lives of parents have become more complicated with the increase in dual income families. This change, coupled with the explosion in activities, reduces the likelihood that kids from multiple families are going to the same place at the same time. In fact, because many of our relationships now stretch across neighborhood lines, most carpools don’t even make logistical sense.
The other contributing factor is the introduction of car seats and the heightened concern about safety in general. Prior to car seats, almost any car could hold five or six kids. Now, most cars are limited to three backseat passengers and often the front passenger seat is empty. The concern for safety has also narrowed the circle of trusted drivers. We won’t trust our kids with just anyone (in any old car). And we no longer trust our teenage drivers. In most states, teenagers are not allowed to drive other teenagers without an adult in the car.
Unfortunately, those practical obstacles are mostly our own creation. Of course our busy lives, with daily schedules that must be adhered to with precision, stand in the way of not just carpools, but the relationships that are necessary to foster such cooperative acts. No bother - our ever more luxurious cars embolden us to embrace a go-it-alone approach. With minivans, we have the means to incorporate safety and preserve the carpooling spirit, but we insist on purchasing SUVs that have less interior room than a sedan. The paradox of the decline in carpooling is that our parents, whose uncomplicated lives seem almost quaint from our harried vantage point, actually had little impetus to carpool. They had plenty of time to drive us everywhere, yet they carpooled because it made perfect sense.
I have tried to reacquaint myself with carpooling, with mixed results. Seeking out a carpool is a very human act. It requires you to ask for a favor of a friend or neighbor, which most of us don’t like to do anymore. You run the risk of imposing on someone who doesn’t really want to cart you or your kid around. Alan Durning of the Sightline Institute writes about this dynamic eloquently in his Year of Living Car-Lessly column. His task is especially challenging given that he doesn’t have the ability to reciprocate in-kind. Alan discovers, just as our parents understood quite well, that friends and neighbors want to help out. What’s missing is that no one thinks to ask anymore. Fortunately, we have a collection of friends who, mainly for child care reasons, share drop off and pick up duties, as well as rides to common activities. So at least I know when I do ask, I won’t get strange looks.
Figuring the proper match and logistics for a carpool in our complicated, modern world can be difficult. This seems like a perfect role for the internet, and, in Oregon, we have such a service. CarPoolMatchNW is an online resource to help organize carpools and other ridesharing arrangements for work and other regular commutes. You can inquire about a carpool and interview potential car mates anonymously before deciding to join. Using this service may not feel like the good ol' days, but maybe you'll make some friends along the way.

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